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How to Choose your
Wedding Party
Once you’re engaged, it’s exciting to share the news
with everyone you know. In the glow of romance you
can easily make rash decisions. A common mistake is
to choose your wedding party too early. It’s hard
to take back a request to be a bridesmaid after you
realize you’ve just gushed the news and blurted to
too many friends, ‘you just have to be in my wedding
party.’
Select your bridal party only after you have set a
wedding date, reserved a reception site and firmed
up your guest list. It’s completely up to you how
many attendants you have, but if you have a fairly
small wedding, it could look a little incongruous to
have a bridal party of 12 and a guest list of 80. A
good gauge to go by is one usher per 50 guests.
Just because you were asked to be a bridesmaid in a
friend’s wedding doesn’t mean she has to be in
yours. There are so many factors that should be
considered. This is a big responsibility, so
consider their circumstances. It can be a $250-$500
commitment to be in a wedding party. Be sure they
are aware of your expectations, before they say
yes. Let them know if you expect them to buy their
own clothing, give a speech, or throw a party. It
can be a strain on the relationship if you have an
expectation that they are either unaware of or
unwilling to fulfill. If you still want to ask
someone you know can’t afford it, offer to help them
with the costs.
If you have a lot of close friends and family you
think should be in your wedding party but don’t want
that large of a group, give them other
responsibilities. If you have a very close friend
from out of town that wouldn’t be able to fulfill a
lot of expected duties ahead of time, ask them to do
a reading, or make a rehearsal dinner toast so they
still feel included.
These days tradition has become a lot more
flexible. It really doesn’t matter if you have an
uneven tally of bridesmaids and groomsmen. An usher
can escort a bridesmaid on either arm and be
entirely acceptable. A bride’s best friend may be a
man or a groom’s best friend a woman. The bottom
line is to choose the people that are closest to you
and you know are going to be happy to help.
Maid in bridesmaid, should be less about marital
status and more about serviceability. Just keep
perspective. Although your wedding is the most
important thing in your life right now, it is not
necessarily the most important thing to them. Don’t
become ‘Bridezilla’ and remind yourself “they’re my
bridesmaids, not my servants.”
Your wedding party are there to love and support you
and make sure you stay relaxed and have fun. If you
take your time choosing, and communicate clearly
with them, you are sure to create wonderful memories
together that you can reminisce over for many years
to come.
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