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Guest List Tips
Assembling the guest list can be a very stressful
activity. You have to combine not just the list of
people you know, but also your parents, your fiancé
and his parents. Whoever is hosting the wedding
generally will have the final say as they are the
ones providing the finances.
If you are a traditional bride, you’ll want to
invite everyone you know and have ever known. It’s
important, although not romantic, to recognize there
is a cost attached to each guest. For an affordable
wedding you’re looking at $25-50 per person.
Start by handwriting your list, but put it in a
spreadsheet as soon as possible. An electronic list
will save you hours of time and provide a huge
amount of flexibility. Once it is electronic you
can not only email it around to the deciding parties
that may not all be local to you, but you can sort
it in so many useful ways. You can use it to figure
out assigned seating and keep track of details like
what gift you received so you can send a meaningful
and specific thank you note. You can even use it to
mailmerge creative labels and save hours of
handwriting on envelopes.
As you are preparing your list, keep in mind that
there is usually 10-20% attrition rate of guests
invited to actual attending. One of the most
common mistakes is inviting too many guests. It can
be an emotional and difficult task to pare down the
list.
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Choose your battles. Be firm but give in if
it’s a small issue and emotions are running
high. It’s better to be on good terms with
parents.
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Be fair. Try to give both sides of the family
equal representation. Unless of course you are
having more than one reception because families
are so far apart, then you’ll have higher
concentrations in each city.
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Don’t include “and guest”. If a guest is single
with no significant other, tell them that space
is tight and not to bring a guest.
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If you don’t hang out with your co-workers
outside of the office, don’t include them. It’s
nice to invite your boss and assistant if you
can though.
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If you’re not inviting children, be consistent.
Have a guideline like no one under 18 or only
nieces and nephews or something along those
lines to be fair.
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Avoid chain-gangs. If inviting one person
compels you to add 6 others by association, you
should not invite them. i.e. a second cousin,
then have to invite all 2nd cousins.
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Stagger the invitations. As a last resort you
can, if you send out your invitations early
enough, send out to a second list once you
receive some regrets. Be careful not to let
them suspect they are on the B list though.
If you have a smaller guest list you may be able to
get into a smaller, less expensive venue and splurge
a little on the details. It’s a difficult task, but
try to keep perspective on what your wedding is
actually for and it will help you as you decide who
you want to share that incredibly significant
commitment you make to each other.
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